Sometimes we want to go, but anxiety gets there first.
It might be the school event, a team dinner, a party, a fundraiser, or simply walking into a room where we are not sure who we will know. We can worry about what to wear, what to say, whether we will fit in, or whether everyone else will seem more comfortable than we feel.
Our kids have those moments too.
Social anxiety does not always look dramatic. It can look like a last-minute excuse, a stomachache, a sharp mood, staying on a phone, or deciding it is easier not to go at all. Often, underneath it is a fear of being judged, embarrassed, or left out.
Adults know that feeling too. And that is not a failure. It is an opportunity to model something more helpful than perfection.
We do not have to pretend we are never nervous. We can say, “I feel a little anxious about this too, but I’m going to take it one step at a time.” We can make a plan: arrive with a friend, get there early, stay for twenty minutes, find one familiar face, or give ourselves permission to step outside for a breath.
That is not avoiding discomfort. It is meeting it with kindness and a little support.
For a young person, it can be powerful to hear: You do not have to feel completely ready to try something. The goal is not to make anxiety disappear before life begins. It is to help them see that they can take a manageable step while feeling nervous, and that they do not have to do it alone.
When a teen is anxious about an event, try asking:
- What part feels hardest?
- Would it help to know what to expect?
- Is there someone you would feel better arriving with?
- What would make this feel like a small enough step?
Then notice the effort, not just the outcome. Showing up, staying for ten minutes, saying hello, or trying again next time all count.
At Live Like Sam, we believe we are more alike on the inside than we often show on the outside. Many people walk into a room hoping someone will make it easier to belong. When we lead with compassion for ourselves and for each other, we help make that possible.
Reading & Support